Napalm Death - Scum (1987)

As it stands I pretty much fucking loathe, grindcore, because much like death metal it eventually became just a contest to see who could play the fastest and growl the lowest. Unfortunately in the case of grindcore it also became a game to see who could write the shortest song, which thankfully as far as I know Napalm Death still holds that honor. Likewise it became the main musical vehicle for loser musicians with no talent whatsoever who would start solo grind projects with as far as I can tell the only intention being to gross somebody out. Lame.

Starting out as a hardcore punk band in 1982 and after a series of demos and members passing through their ranks, the band finally recorded the first half of, 'Scum' in August of '86, while the remainder of the record, side two, was finished in May of '87 with a slightly different line-up. As it stands this is considered the first grindcore album and although I've just professed my hatred for the genre, I can honestly say I like early grindcore pioneers, such as, Carcass, Repulsion and these dudes from, Birmingham, England, UK.

Going back to this early recording its clear to see that grindcore hasn't evolved much in the past 20+ years, but what makes these early records actually standout is that there is a sense of character to it, or if you wish, there's actually music underneath all the raging blastbeats, distorted guitars and grumbly shouted vocals. Of course as this is grindcore, most of the songs are under two minutes, in fact several are even under a single minute, while, 'You Suffer' has the prestigious honor of being the shortest song ever recorded, clocking in at 1.316 seconds. Nicholas "Nik Napalm" Bullen shouts, screams, growls and screeches throughout the first twelve songs while future Cathedral front man, Lee Dorian does similarly on the remaining songs, though his grunts of torture are rather amusing if I do say so myself. That's a good thing. To me it sort of sounds like a fat humorous Saturday morning cartoon character that's trapped in a big sack with a mouth full of honey while he fights his way out. Lyrically its quite different too with words on politics, social issues and just good 'ol fashioned hate. Also technically I'm not sure if this album or grindcore can even be consider a sub-genre of metal since this baby just sounds like an overly caffeined hardcore punk band on smack.

The whole experience is really an audio nightmare too since both sides were recorded in an 8-track studio. The guitars have an awful early 80's hardcore punk tone to them, although the drums are raw and absolutely intense throughout, but they tend to overshadow the vocals most of the time. The overall volume and clearness is total balls too, and it just gets worse when you flip the record over.

So, why do I like this album? Fuck if I know, man, I just do. Its simple and intense and it has that youthful rebellious spirit behind it like so many other greats from the 80's had. I mean who the hell would have thought music like this existed as far back as '86. Craziness, I tell you. Strangely when the bands not blasting away there's amazingly a few catchy riffs within this record, which may or may not make you bang your head, but for what its worth I choose to do so to the title track as well as a few others.

By some stroke of odd luck I remember I heard Napalm Death when I was quite young, seriously when I was about 10 or 11, and it happened just because my older brother had one their records. 'Utopia Banished' I believe to be the one in question. I fucking hated it.

As it stands this is the only Napalm Death record I own and probably the only one really worth listening too, even though the whole thing is completely hit or miss depending on your appreciation for early extreme music makers.

Hypocrisy - The Final Chapter (1997)

Its strange to think that there was a time when I owned a good portion of the material Swedish melodic death metal legends, Hypocrisy had released during the 90's. I guess the odd thing about all that though is that I never really 'got into' these guys, it was more of just a coincidence of knowing their name and happening upon their releases at second hand stores.

Of course, their early pure death metal records, 'Penetralia' & 'Osculum Obscenum' are considered classics by most, but at the time (late 2000/early 2001) I wasn't much into death metal and I overlooked them. After those records Hypocrisy became a three piece and their style became increasingly melodic, though they seemed to have a habit and a pattern of doing both fast energetic songs as well as slower, mid-paced slightly doomy numbers with a far more guttural voice, as opposed to Peter's more trademark raspy screams. I remember telling myself and saying to someone that I'd probably fucking love Hypocrisy if it wasn't for those mid-paced songs and I think my lack of interest in those is what ultimately made me sell off my Hypocrisy CDs. Well, about two years ago I came across this album again for a mere $4 and I thought to myself, "Fuck it, let's give it a go again."

Much to my surprise after just a single listen to, 'The Final Chapter' I found myself enjoying it, even though it does follow that pattern of fast song followed by slow song. The album kicks off with, 'Inseminated Adoption,' which I wouldn't hesitate to admit that its my favorite Hypocrisy song. The speed, drive and catchiness of the song is really quite unbelievable as well with some cool riffs and a great solo it just stomps over the listener right from the get go. 'Dominion' & 'Last Vanguard' are other similarly fast paced songs that just, well, simply put, kick ass and its not long into these songs were I find myself headbanging like a maniac. But, then what about those mid-paced songs? I'll still insist that its an odd transition back and fourth during the album, but if you listen to them individually you'll discover some superb songs that while considerably slower are highly atmospheric pieces with great musicianship, deep guttural vocals, emotional clean vocals and occasional acoustic guitars. 'Request Denied' is definitely where its at.

'The Final Chapter' was literally intended to be the last Hypocrisy record as I believe Peter had lost his passion for the band and wanted to focus on his studio work at Abyss. However due to an immense fan response the band decided to forge on from here.

This album can be a bitch to get into due to the pattern, but like I already said listening to some of these songs on a more individual basis really reveals just how good they all are. In the end it makes me wish I had not sold those other record, because I'd probably dig them now too, but what can you do. Maybe I'll just find them at a second hand store again someday.

Insomnium - In the Halls of Awaiting (2002)

When I look back to 2002 I can clearly remember that Candlelight Records ad in Metal Maniacs mag, likewise I recall seeing numerous reviews praising the shit out of this one and most of all for about the past five years I've had two friends saying, "Dude, fucking check out Insomnium, already!" Did I check out Insomnium, well no, that is until a few months ago when I had a gift card to use and not being able to think of anything else to pick up I went with this, the bands debut, which has been praised and loved for nearly a decade now.

Generally billed as a melodic death metal act, this Joensuu, Finland based band sounds a bit different from the typical and played out Swedish Gothenburg sound, even if some very common characteristics do still exist. Perhaps what makes it different is simply because the song writing is way above average with simply brilliant and beautiful guitar melodies plus each song has a part(s) that completely hooks you in and absorbs you while the occasional presence of acoustic guitars and keyboards enhance the mood even further. There's also a sense of progressiveness in this music, which makes it almost Opeth-ish, though the songs are hardly that long, but then again they don't necessarily follow the verse, chorus, verse, chorus, solo, chorus format either.

Also where most melo death bands go for a tough hard hitting energetic mood, Insomnium tends to have a somewhat calmer vibe to their music with plenty of melancholy melodies, which of course just makes the music all the more special. You could almost say that Insomnium plays melodic death/doom, and why not with such a band name, the gloomy imagery and lyrics that seem to be largely centered around misery. That's the not to say the guitars or drums are not played fast, because sometimes they rip along quite hastily, nor is there any weakness in the guttural vocal department, but listening to a song, such as, 'The Elder' will reveal just how blending melody and melancholy can create something absolutely unique.

I'm also pleased to say that there isn't any metalcore, thrash or lame pop-ish bullshit within this music, which to me just says that when they recorded this record they had no huge desire to make it in the business, but rather they just wanted to write and record marvelous songs from the deepest depths of their souls. In a lot of ways, 'In the Halls of Awaiting' sounds like vintage melo death, but with the Finnish charm of atmosphere, which is something that has been lost in really all forms of metal these days.

Considering my current erectness towards most things Finnish these days it would probably be a mistake to ignore the rest of this bands discography as I'm quite curious to see if things just get better from here or if the band develops their sound over the course of the five albums they've now released.

Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout

Usually with these alcohol reviews o' mine there's some sort of story or thing to point out before I really get down to what you want to read about. Not so much this time, in fact none at all. I just like the concept of beer and cappuccino coming together and happening upon this one today means I'm one happy dude... but why is the dog so sad?

'Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout' pours out with a heavily creamy tan/gold-ish head and a dark bold body that's pretty much jet black in appearance, but with a little bit of redness if you should happen to place your glass near a light source. The smell is exactly what I'd imagined for; coffee, duh, but with a certain sweetness that makes it really inviting. The initial taste is fairly bitter, but the roasted coffee taste comes soon enough. There's also some bitter chocolate hanging around nipping at my buds with also a strange milky taste somewhere in there too. Tasty

Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout comes as a 1 pint 6 fl oz. bottle with a ABV of 9.0%, which means it has a good kick to it as well since I just finished dinner before cracking this one open I can easily say that its fitting as a post-meal beer.

Not a whole heck of a lot more to say, really. This is creamy well balanced stout, which will surely please fans of both beer and cappuccino since two great things have merged together perfectly here, though having tasted Southerntier's, 'jah*va Imperial Coffee Stout' a few weeks ago I think that one might have the slight edge over this one.

Still, I don't get why that dog on the artwork is so goddamn glum looking? Cheer the fuck up, dawg!

Nokturnal Mortum - Goat Horns (1998)

Long ago (well, sometime in '96, anyway) far to the mysterious eastern land of Ukraine, something wickedly evil was brewing in a city named, Kharkov. There name was Nokturnal Mortum and in 1997 they released the, ‘Goat Horns’ MC via MetalAgen/Morbid Noizz Records, however it wasn’t until a year later that the rest of the world heard the album when The End & Nuclear Blast Records re-released it on CD.

Although it probably wasn't instant, 'Goat Horns' gained followers of its speedy black metal style with epic symphonic synths and folk & Celtic influences, which was fairly unique at the time (recorded in summer of '96). Looking back I heard this album in late 2000 when I stumbled across The End Records and was also introduced to bands like, Scholomance, Mental Home, Sculptured and Agalloch, but that's really not that important. What I recall the most is that the first time I heard this album it was in my CD walkman (CD... whatmon?) and I was on my way to the bus stop to catch the bus downtown for my college courses and it was freakin' cold that day. I remember the whole frigid atmosphere and the epic structure of the songs blended so well together that it instantly became a favorite of mine and remained so for many years.

I guess it happened in early 2010, listening to what I had always considered to be one of the most masterful black metal recordings ever, but perhaps age had brought objectiveness into my life as suddenly I just didn't feel as passionate about this record as I previously did. The synths, which I had always considered to be absolutely beautiful, but also constantly very sinister, grand, and symphonic like too suddenly sounded dated and generally quite hooky to my ears. In fact, there's a funny memory I have from early 2001 where I tried playing this album for some non-metal ears and a pal of mine just ripped the album saying it all sounded like a computer midi file, which honestly it really does.

Played by two individuals on this album and apparently actually two keyboards were used, which made them the dominate instrument to be heard as they overshadow everything else, especially the guitar, which sounds like a distant murmur most of the time, though a few clever riffs do sneak through here and there. Similarly the drums are a distant rumble, the vocals sound muffled at times and the bass only shines through during the calmer moments.

Nevertheless I still do have quite a bit of love for these songs, perhaps just because of the nostalgia connected to them. I mean seriously, 'Black Moon Overture' is one of the corniest intros ever recorded, but I think that vintage video game tunes lover inside me can't resist this one, and there are honestly many moments in this recording where the keyboards do sound just like a midi or maybe even an old cellphone ring tone. Also despite my bitching I still do love the title track and the epic freezing mood the first half of the track provides, likewise, 'Unholy Orathania' & 'Kolyada' have some really neat folk melodies in them, while, 'Veles' Scrolls' is still pretty damn majestic at times.

The reason for pointing out its flaws is simply because I did always consider it to be one of the best ever and I was quite quick to defend it if anyone did rip it, but time changes things and the same happened with Nokturnal Mortum too. Their following album, 'To the Gates of Blasphemous Fire' was similar, but a hell of a lot faster and more properly produced, while, 'NeChrist,' their third album was a blasting black metal foray complete with enough folk and polka music to drive you insane... and suddenly they were really into the killing Jews thing too..., yeah. Eventually they grew up, ditched the Hitler business and released two very mature and excellent folk metal releases, dubbed, 'Weltanschauung' & 'The Voice of Steel.'

And the legend continues.

And the I still enjoy this corny masterpiece too.

Desolation. Dissonance. Delirium. (2011)

2011 marked the three year anniversary of Canadian label, Hypnotic Dirge Records, and as a special thank you to followers and as well as a preview of some upcoming artists to have releases on the label, HDR has once again released an absolutely free compilation for download.

Alberta, Canada solo project, Ov Hollowness, kicks off the compilation with the bands depressive black metal style, which is not nearly as doom driven as many in this genre, in fact OH has various moments throughout this song where the music completely blasts away, but the bulk of the song is more mid-paced with many dark melancholy riffs as well as both screamed and cleanly sung parts. Our Last Day On Earth is next and this anonymous band plays a very strange sort of hypnotic trance-like post black metal music, which is quite unlike anything I've heard before, but between the menacing riffs, odd tribal percussion, clean singing and epic character of the song you can definitely see these guys are on to something with this. Neige et Noirceur follows and if you have some experience with this band then you'll know what to expect as its fairly similar, but if not this solo project delivers fast paced spellbinding black metal music with some drone and ambient characteristics too.

Epitimia, a Russian band of Alexander Machtakov and Kirill ‘Nemez’ offer an interesting sort of depressive black metal that has some acoustics, but it also has something of a post vibe to it that's all very different sounding. I can't really put it into words, but parts of this song are warm and inviting sounding while others are depressing. Quite unique. The Foetal Mind is up next and their contribution is absolutely stunning. Following in the steps of their last album, this new song is similar sounding instrumental post rock/post metal sounding stuff and while it starts out fairly calmly with a mysterious sort of vibe it becomes an absolute jam session by the mid point of the song with a rockin' feel good solo, which eventually leads back to the calmer earlier moments. Subsequently Stroszek the acoustic/heavy rock band of Claudio Alcara of Frostmoon Eclipse is next with a superb song that sounds just like his previous material, but so much more mature and just breathtaking in its overall delivery. The French band, Netra, which I've come to enjoy quite a bit since their debut album follows, although this song forgoes most of the black metal tendencies in favor of a more full on dark trip-hop experience.

The Iranian band, Ekove Efrits, create a somewhat typical depressive black metal song that's of course melancholy, haunting and Burzum-ish in its structure, but even as it sounds familiar I definitely enjoy what I'm hearing. Old Forgotten Lands song is an ambient/acoustic piece, that is a bit of a departure from everything else on this comp., but I do like the calm nature based feeling the song provides. Funeral Fornication's contribution is more fast paced black metal with speedy programmed drums, symphonic keyboards and reptilian vocals, while Silent Path another solo vehicle of, Count De Efrit (Ekove Efrits mastermind), closes out the compilation with another depressive black metal song, but I definitely do enjoy it.

Besides the audio side of this compilation there is an additional video, visual and text side to it, which for whatever reason would simply not download for me, but then maybe RapidShare is just being odd and its something I should have considered trying to download before writing this.

In any case, this comp. serves the purpose of most comps. and that is to showcase a variety of styles and introduce listeners to interesting new bands. Some of the artists present have albums coming out in 2012 through HDR while some have previously appeared already and a few tracks are even exclusive.

If curiosity should strike you then definitely head on over to, Hypnotic Dirge Records and give it a go.

Skid Row - Skid Row (1989)

Do you remember the good 'ol days of hard rock? I mean seriously, do you? This is a question you can really only answer if you were born in the early 80's (or before), because if your mother squeezed you out in the late 80's or early 90's by the time you were able to make sense of shit hard rock was pretty much a dead genre. Looking back to the late 80's I was quite young having only been birthed in August of '81, but I have some fond memories hearing real hard rock n' roll on MTV or on Casey Kasem's top 40 show when I was just a tyke.

One of those bands that I heard back then and still absolutely love to this day is, Skid Row. Holy fuck, man, '18 and Life' & 'I Remember You' were songs I loved back then even if I probably didn't even know who the hell they were wrote by until a few years later, but this is just more of that stuff that changed me and got me into my own music and prepared me for heavier stuff down the road.

Although similar in style to most other cock rock hair metal bands of the 80's, Skid Row was in fact different visually as they preferred actually looking like men, though Sebastian Bach was pretty goddamn pretty boy-ish looking at times, but will forgive him because he's awesome and cooler than the whole lot o us. Actually, Skid Row was heavier, catchier and far more talented than say, Warrant or Poison, but the same vibe runs through these guys music. It was just all about having a good time, about getting into trouble and chasing chicks around while writing some kick ass tunes.

The opening song, 'Big Guns' has so much life and the fun lyrics about feeling like a prisoner/hostage in love are too cool. 'Sweet Little Sister' has more of that hard rockin' good time feeling going with lyrics about a prostitute that can't be beat. I also once guest DJed on metal nights at a local bar (those were good nights, miss 'em.) years ago and I played this one amongst some black metal songs, much to the chagrin of the attendees I'm sure. 'Can't Stand The Heartache' & 'Piece of Me' are somewhat similar and decent too, though these ones seem more distinctly hair metal-ish and silly in a way, but amusing nonetheless. '18 and Life' is the first ballad on the record and I LOVE THIS SONG! Musically its stunning and the lyrics tell a great story and I don't know about you, but every time I listen to this song I get this cold feeling rush through me. Oh, and that solo, baby! So, damn good!

Other songs like, 'Rattlesnake Shake,' 'Here I Am' and 'Makin' a mess' have more of that typical 80's hair metal thing going for them, but they are always a blast and again although I was tiny it just reminds me of that carefree time of my life. Damn, and, 'Youth Gone Wild' was such a big song for me back then. I remember throwing the cassette in a boom box and blasting that sucka at obnoxious volumes while riding around on my bicycle and feeling unstoppable. That's fuckin' right! Okay, and I got to admit I do like, 'I Remember You,' probably more so now than then, but that's just because I'm an adult now and I know what its like to have my heart broken and what's better than a sappy 80's ballad after all that? And finally I've got much love for the closer, 'Midnight/Tornado!' Who can resist lyrics like, "When the clock strikes midnite, I'm on the prowl of love" and the energetic rockin' spirit behind this one?! That's right, you can't!

Its strange to think that by the mid-90's music like this didn't exist and then just a few years down the road Skid Row didn't even exist. I know nowadays there are plenty of underground bands that are doing the whole 80's hair metal thing, which is cool, but what I long for is this music to be a mainstream thing as it once was. Instead modern music continues to plunge to depths of unforgettable awfulness, with god fucking abominable crap like U2, Radiohead, Coldplay, Foo Fighters and so on being called rock. I realize no one calls these bands, 'hard rock,' because they certainly are not, but I don't see them as even being rock, but rather just shitty fucking pop music that's actually wrote by the people in the band.

As a finale to this one all I can really say is that this is what good ol' fashioned hard rock was all about. Super catchy songs with great riffs and immense solos, diverse and interesting lyrics about love, society, rebellion as well as fantastic vocals from the singer, in this case, Mr. Sebastian Bach who was just nineteen when this one came out. It meant a hell of a lot to me back then and nothing much has changed since then.

Oh, and I'd give up my left testicle to have a shirt with the album artwork on it! And from the looks of things (Check this out) I'd have to do just that, but that's alright my nuts have proven to be completely useless for thirty years now. So, I'd happily give a nut up for Sebastian, Rachel, Dave, Rob and Scotti.

Cathedral - Hopkins (The Witchfinder General) (1996)

A bit of a random curiosity today, but this old Cathedral EP from '96 was something I came across at a second hand shop a few years ago for like $4 and the collector in me couldn't resist. Fortunately its quite good too and an interesting listen for Cathedral fanatics.

The EP kicks off with the title track, which originally appeared on, 'The Carnival Bizarre,' although this version features a 20 second intro, which I can only assume to be a TV advert for the 1968 film, 'Witchfinder General.' Besides that the track remains exactly the same as its album counterpart; groovy as fuck, absolutely rockin', addictive and quite simply one of the best stoner doom metal songs ever wrote.

The second song and one of the biggest treats of this EP is the cover version of Arthur Brown's late 60's psychedelic rock hit, 'Fire.' Cathedral's jam of this one is fairly close to the original although it seems to have more life to it, additional lyrics, its a bit more metal as well Lee Dorian shows so much heart with his singing, while, 'Copper Sunset' is a short doomy instrumental, which as no surprise really just has this hazy sort of end of the day sunset feeling to it, like smoking joints on the beach as the sunset goes down (or something). 'Purple Wonderland' and 'The Devils Summit' are a bit different with very little doom on display, but rather they sound much more like vintage 60's psychedelic rock with lots of odd synthesizers, Hammond organ and saxophones (Sexaphones in the booklet!) at work. I should probably listen to these songs while drinking some day, because I'm fairly sure I'd enjoy Purple a bit more with a buzz going, whereas on the other hand Devils Summit is just too good to resist and is has just the right amount of groove and weirdness to make it a fantastic song.

As a whole this is an interesting EP since its like a Cathedral time warp, though I suppose its not the sort of item your going to randomly stumble upon so easy as I did. Definitely worth it for the long time Cathedral fans since you get to see the guys doing something a bit different.

Interestingly there is two other versions of this EP; A Japanese press, which has a Curved Air cover as well a promo version exists, which has two Black Sabbath covers tacked at the end (WTF, I want!). Oh, and apparently some DVD's of, 'Witchfinder General' have Cathedral's music video for Hopkins included... but not mine. Life is so unfair.

The Finnish Winter Metal Patch Jacket

Those that have been hanging around this blog for a while will probably remember that I traveled to Finland last year for the mighty Tuska Open Air Metal Festival as well as various other misadventures, most of which involved a hell of a lot of alcohol. Finland made a huge impression on me, it felt like my home away from home and although I've lived in the same place my whole entire life I've never really felt at home here in Wisconsin. Be it the lack of metal or the fact that the average person is... well, just average and dull could be a big reason for this.

Therefore, when I returned I wanted to do something special to commemorate my journey to Finland. My first thought was to get a tattoo, but my mind continuously drew blanks on this matter. Eventually I figured I'd put that huge Amorphis back patch I had purchased at the, 'Helsinki Rock Shop' to good use. Although my first thought was on a hoodie I ultimately decided to put it on my old biker jacket, which I had resurrected in 2010.

The whole idea was to create a, 'Metal Jacket' that consisted of just patches from Finnish bands or Finnish related subjects. At first this seemed like it would be a fairly easy idea, but soon as I really went looking around I found that not many of my favorite Finnish bands had patches available. From there it became clear to me that I had to do something different to make sure my unique idea was even more unique.



By some stroke of luck I came across a guy on eBay who was creating custom patches. You'd think something like this wouldn't be hard to find, but before coming across this chap (I think he was from the Czech Republic) I contacted several American custom patch shops and they all told me it would infringe on copyrights, even though I told them they were for private use and not being resold for profit. The first two obvious choices were Swallow the Sun, whom I've been a follower of since their debut years ago as well as Barren Earth who absolutely blew me away and continue to amaze me with their debut release, 'Curse of the Red River.'


On the more older Finnish band spectrum I absolutely had to include patches from Sami Tenetz mighty, Thy Serpent. You'd think Thy Serpent might have a patch floating around out there already, but no. The patch below comes from a band named Vordven who had a fantastic release back in '99 titled, 'Towards the Frozen Stream' as well a stunning EP in '01 called, 'Woodland Passage.' These bands are important to me because besides Beherit these were two of the more blacker sounding metal bands from Finland that I heard and purchased CDs from first years and years ago.

The Barathrum and Kalmah patches are not custom, but they seemed fitting since I've known Barathrum for a long time and although I haven't heard much of their work I plan to change that soon enough. Also the seller on eBay said this patch was, 'Supa Rare,' so it seemed hard to pass by. As for Kalmah, I've been a fan since the first album and I generally like what they did on their first couple of albums too. I haven't heard much of their recent work, but I suppose that might change since their patch adorns my jacket now.

... and how would a Finnish Metal Patch Jacket be complete without a little Behexen and Horna hanging around the bottom!? Right, it wouldn't! In a way it feels sort of odd having these patches and that's mostly because of the Amorphis patch, I guess its just a big contrast of styles and all. I remember when I was in the shop rummaging I also saw a, 'Tales from the Thousand Lakes' patch, which seemed appropriate for the old schooler in me, but my undeniable love for, 'Skyforger' got the best of me and I went with it instead.

Finnish doom/death legends also had to be a part of this jacket, no doubt about that! This patch was originally on one of my sleeves, but after sewing it on I found it nearly tearing off when I would wear the jacket and move my arm in a certain way. I also had Impaled Nazarene and Abhorrence on the sleeve, but those were removed and still need to be sewed on elsewhere.

On my left sleeve I have a patch of the Finnish flag, which I found at the Helsinki-Vantaa airport a few hours before I left. Some might find it odd for an American to wear the Finnish flag on his sleeve, but I do it with pride, because as I said Finland felt like my home away from my home. To date no ones questioned it, which is semi disappointing because for the laughs involved I'd just love to have someone call me a traitor to my country or at least have someone mistake me for being Finnish.

The patch below the flag is the final custom one and its of the band, Routasielu, which I can't simply recommend enough. By far one of the coolest bands I've heard in a long time and one I continuously find myself coming back to. It seemed wise to be this patch below the flag since the band writes all their lyrics in their native Suomi language, but I guess I could have easily have put the Horna patch here too.

On the right arm we have, Moonsorrow & Beherit whom are another two bands I've adored for many years now. Moonsorrow defines what epic folky metal is all about while Beherit and both their old and latest creations rank quite high on my list of favorite things. Regrettably the Beherit patch has suffered some damage during the winter, but that's mostly because I always carelessly hang my backpack off my shoulder, usually forgetting there's a patch sewn on there. I had originally thought about going with a Moonsorrow back patch at first too, but I guess those that know me, know that I've got quite a bit of love for all things Amorphis. So, it really wasn't a hard choice in the end.











The front remains mostly untouched other than that spiffy Amorphis pin on the pocket. I'll more than likely add add the aforementioned Impaled Nazarene and Abhorrence patches somewhere on the front, as well I've got ideas for more custom patches. However the custom patch thing was fairly pricey and I don't have much extra money to spend these days, but that's fine as I don't plan on retiring this jacket any time soon.

Finally a shot of yours truly out freezing his ass off while modeling his creation, forlornly too. I had been hoping for a snowy day to do this shot, but as far as I can tell winter has passed Wisconsin by this year, which is highly regrettably on so many levels. Honestly it wasn't even that cold when this was shot, haha.

As a final thought I have to say I've put a lot of thought, time and effort into this thing and I hope it shows. Its still not done, of course, but I wanted to show it off before this so-called winter season passed by entirely. If you like what you see feel free to share your thoughts as well link it up on your facebook pages, forums or whatever as I think it would be cool if fans of Finnish metal, Finns themselves and maybe even some of the bands saw this.

I think from now on I'll also try and do something special on this blog like this at least once a month. I've got lots of cool stuff to show off, which I think might tickle some interest around this place. Metal and beer reviews are certainly fun, but diversity is definitely the spice o life, don't you agree?

Cannibal Corpse - Eaten Back to Life (1990)

Cannibal Corpse is a name that's synonymous with death metal and as one of the founders and now most well known and successful names in the genre you'd think the band would actually have more than a few great records behind them after nearly twenty five years of existence. You're opinion may differ on this matter, but personally the bands 1990 debut, 'Eaten Back to Life' is the only Cannibal Corpse record that I can honestly say I fuckin' love.

Without question when it comes to death metal I prefer the records from the late 80's and early 90's over everything else that's been released, and the basic reason for this is because most of those old records have that underlining thrash metal characteristic to them mixed with death metal. This then means that the music actually has a soul and substance, or in other words; bad ass riffs, the occasional solo and a fair amount of energy and drive behind the songs, whereas by the mid 90's and onwards death metal became a contest to see who could play the fastest and growl the lowest.

'Eaten Back to Life' has everything I mentioned above plus the guttural bellows of front man, Chris Barnes and his sickening lyrics, which for the time probably raised an eyebrow or two, even if Carcass and Repulsion had gore lyrics years before them. Nevertheless, I like the way many of the songs actually tell a story, such is the case with, 'Shredded Humans;'

"The father of three was impaled on the wheel, as his skull became a part of the dash, His eyeballs ejected his sight uneffected, he saw his own organs collapse, His seatbelt was useless for holding him back, it simply cut him in two, Legs were crushed, out leaked pus as his spinal cord took off and flew, The mother took flight through the glass, and ended up impaled on a sign, Her intestines stretched from the car down the road for a quarter of a mile.

Of course, very little of the lyrics are actually discernible through Chris' roars, but that's fine, this is freakin' death metal after all! In the end its the songs that are important and these are really Cannibal Corpse's finest. The aforementioned, 'Shredded Humans' kicks off the album flawlessly, pummeling the listener into submission within the short instrumental and as soon as those vocals kick in, fuck man, watch out, because things get insane quickly. The short but awesome, 'Put them to Death' has always been a favorite of mine and the part where Chris screams, "Fuck you" is beyond killer! 'Mangled' & 'A Skull Full of Maggots' are actually catchy and feature backing vocals from Glen Benton (Deicide) and Francis Howard (Incubus... umm, the thrash metal one!). A few others that have always stuck out for me are, 'Rotting Head' & 'The Undead Will Feast,' but really what matters is that the whole album is a mauling and brutal affair with tons of killer riffs, relentless endurance and a few clever solos and a strange sort of catchiness you just simply don't see in death metal anymore. Oh, and I enjoy drinking beer and headbanging to this motherfucker too.

This debut is generally overlooked in favor of the bands following creations, 'Butchered at Birth' & 'Tomb of the Mutilated' and while I agree they are good records I just never found myself enjoying Chris' far more guttural vocal approach as well the production is awful on those albums, while here it just sounds like a natural vintage metal record instead of a complete fuck up there. Honestly I'm not much of a fan of Cannibal Corpse past the fourth album and I've heard everything through, 'Gore Obsessed' too. Sure, someone might say I'm missing something with the new records, but then again the new records don't even have shocking twisted blood drenched artwork anymore. Have you seen the cover to, 'Kill?' Yeah, need I say more.

Some would say this isn't a death metal classic, but I'll proudly hold my middle finger in those peoples faces and say quite the opposite. 'Eaten Back to Life' is indeed a classic and undeniably the best product released under the Cannibal Corpse banner.

Moonspell - Wolfheart (1995)

Throughout their now twenty year old music career, Portuguese metal legends, Moonspell have changed considerably in shape, form and personnel, but at least for me most of their work has been engaging and enjoyable. In their early days as Morbid God playing straight forward black metal (or so I always heard) to the early EP's as Moonspell they played a sort of folky black metal, but by the time they released their debut, 'Wolfheart' in '95 the band had taken their music in a sort of melodic folk-ish black-ish/Gothic metal that can really only be considered their own thing.

Moonspell was also one of those introductory bands of sorts that got me further into the metal underground years ago and as such I've always kept their outputs in mind. 'Wolfheart' however is a colossal release and by far the greatest record they've done. Many consider this to be a black metal record too, but the blackness is rather subtle and only shines through briefly in the vocal area, while the bulk of the record is far more Gothic in style with hints of folk music as well as a good amount of charging energy, catchiness and grandeur rarely seen these days in metal.

Kicking off with a beautiful and haunting intro, 'Wolfshade (A Werewolf Masquerade)' is quite possibly the finest song in the Moonspell library. With an incredibly majestic and yet bleak atmosphere all at once throughout and with both harsh shrieking screams and a low baritone Gothic/Dracula-ish vocal style Fernando "Langsuyar" Ribeiro proves himself quite early on. The song also has a superb flow, progressiveness and drive behind most of it and with on and off moments of great energy, especially towards the the middle when after a short acoustic break a totally hair raising lengthy guitar solo rips fourth from my speakers, usually followed by plenty of head banging on my end.

'Love Crimes' is next, although its a bit different in style and although again with a good amount of vigor and spirit behind it, this song is more purely Gothic metal in style, as well its also female backing vocalist, Birgit Zacher's first appearance, although she has many more on the album and future Moonspell releases as well she would go on to work with Tiamat and Sentenced during the 90's. '...Of Dream and Drama (Midnight Ride)' is fairly similar and quite excellent and who could resist that awesome Glenn Danzig-ish scream after the opening spoken part?! Meanwhile, 'Lua D'Inverno' is a short acoustic guitar number paired with a flute, which is the first real sign of anything folky on this record, whereas the following song, 'Trebraruna' is a full on although slightly weird folk metal song sung entirely in Portuguese.

The album hardly relents with, 'Vampiria' or 'An Erotic Alchemy' as they are again quite similar to the second and third songs, but just fantastically wrote and absolutely brilliant from start to finish. 'Alma Mater' closes out album and its a bit more forceful and aggressive at times, but nonetheless catchy as fuck and absolutely played at every single Moonspell gig. You might say its a classic.

There's very little I could say about this album negatively, maybe save for the fact that some of the synthesizers may sound slightly cheap or aged to some ears, but I hardly doubt Century Media handed a little Portuguese band that much money to record this beast. Aside from that we've got eight solid and stunning songs to choose from, superb vocals both from Fernando and Birgit, as well as a very audible bass guitar, dark, creepy and sometimes gorgeous synth, interesting and intriguing lyrics centered around vampirism, lycanthropy and relationships and enough catchy riffs and killer solos to make this the legendary album it truly is.

Re-released a few times over the years, an optimal version saw light in '07 with new artwork, remastered, liner notes by Fernando Ribeiro and Robert Müller (CM big boss), 28 page booklet and a bonus live CD, although I still rock my original pressing. Tempting to pick up this new version though.

Looking back I have no idea how I discovered this band or album, but I can only assume it was through random web browsing and Napster downloading at the end of 90's and the first months of the new millennium. Regardless, 'Wolfheart' has always been one of my favorites and if you've haven't heard it you really owe it to yourself to check it out, because its one of the most unique, exciting and memorable records I know.

Covenant - Nexus Polaris (1998)

A year after the release of the mighty, 'In Times Before the Light' Bergen, Norway based band, Covenant expanded their line-up with the addition of some key members of the Norwegian black metal scene as well as taking their music in a largely different direction. Nagash and Blackheart (the bands original two members) returned alongside guitarist, Astennu (Dimmu Borgir, Carpe Tenebrum, Nocturnal Breed), drummer Hellhammer (Mayhem, Arcturus, Thorns, etc.) and keyboardist Sverd (Arcturus), which in a lot of ways made the band out to be super group of sorts with Nagash at that time playing bass in Dimmu Borgir he probably had no troubles selling his side project to the label boss at Nuclear Blast Records.

'Nexus Polaris' saw Covenant taking their music in a more melodic black metal direction with ample synth enrichment, backing female vocals (courtesy of Sarah Jezebel Deva of Cradle of Filth fame) and a squeaky clean production job, which in all seriousness made it sound barely black metal in character. If you've never heard this album perhaps the simplest way to describe it is to say its a perfect merger of Dimmu Borgir's late 90's output (Enthrone Darkness Triumphant & Spiritual Black Dimensions) with Cradle of Filth's, 'Cruelty and the Beast' release. I'm sure true followers of black metal and those that adored the bands debut were disappointed, heck for all I know woman had miscarriages, men's masculinity was brought into question and children cried out in fear after hearing it, but regardless I've never been able to resist this album due to how well each song is wrote.

Each of the eight songs have a fantastic sense of flow to them with superb melodic guitar melodies, which may in sight furious head banging at times as well as some awesome drop dropping solos to boot. Sverd's keyboard and piano melodies have always reminded me of old Emperor, Dimmu and Cradle all rolled into one, while Nagash's vocals were less troll-ish this time around being hardly extreme and are in fact fairly easy to understand, save for some of the odder moments on this record when he screeches chaotically, but I figure that just adds diversity to the whole thing. Sarah's backing vocals are special, because she actually sings, in an operatic style of sorts, whereas at the time in CoF she was mostly just doing background speaking/howling/whatever.

Eight songs deep I find very little fault in this record. The powerful opener, 'The Sulphur Feast' sets the style of the album firmly in place from the get go with roaring fast drums, a killer solo, great piano tinkling and excellent vocals from both Nagash and Sarah. Probably my favorite song of the album is, 'Bringer of the Sixth Sun' sinse the ending is breathtakingly awesome with a lengthy instrumental part that absolutely kills and crushes everything, whereas the same could be said for, 'Planetary Black Elements' since the last couple of minutes are similarly powerful, but perhaps a bit more haunting in its overall delivery. 'Chariots of Thunder' closes out the album quite well too in a slower, but slightly more epic style, but I dig it all the same.

As I mentioned in my previous Covenant review this band was the one that really got me into black metal in the first place, even if this album isn't very black metal at all. Take it for what it is, and what, 'Nexus Polaris' is, is one damn fine album.

Neither/Neither World - Invisible Angel (2005)

I had known about the oddly named San Francisco band, Neither/Neither World for a few years randomly (usually) via a few random mp3’s or online radios before this CD appeared in my mailbox back in 2005. NNW is the brainchild of one, Wendy Van Dusen (voice, guitar and bass) and she’s been releasing music under this banner since the late 80’s. I’ve seen NNW compared to artists like The Creatures, Mazzy Star, Current 93 and Death in June, which is a pretty mixed bag, and honestly before popping this CD in my stereo I wasn’t sure what to expect.

The sound of, ‘Invisible Angel is that of an apocalyptic folk variety with a little bit of a pop-ish sentiment plus Wendy’s cute lead vocals, acoustic guitars, percussion, atmospheric synths and occasionally instruments like piano or the harmonica make an appearance. Wendy’s vocals remind me of Rose McDowall of Current 93/Strawberry Switchblade fame since they've got that playful adolescent spirit to them with a little bit of a Southern drawl, which is interesting and different to my ears at least.

‘Ghosts Whispers’ is one of the better songs on the album with very infectious light guitar and beautiful piano alongside Wendy’s voice that holds a strong melancholy emotion, whilst, 'Postcards' also has a very similar vibe, but with an oddly sounding echoing harmonica in the background. I also really like the atmospheric instrumental, ‘Shadow of the Wings’ which for some reason kind of reminds of The Cure’s, 'Disintegration,' while the title track, ‘Invisible Angel’ sounds very Death in June influenced all the way. The fourth song, 'Buried and Gone' is one of the oddities on this album and the only song that differs from the acoustic style since it’s more dark rock sounding reminding me somewhat of Gothic artists of the 80’s that have long past.

However I’ll knock off the name dropping and just simply get to the point and say that the whole album is quite outstanding. The musicianship is excellent, the songs have a steady flow, catchiness and atmosphere to them and everything about the album is enthusiastic and pretty much perfectly performed. My only complaint would have been to move, ‘Buried and Gone’ to the end of the album since it’s so different, but that’s just me I guess.

This is the only album I've heard from Neither/Neither World, but I definitely dig it and usually end up asking myself why I haven't hunted down their other releases.

So, if you’ve ever thought about the idea of female fronted apocalyptic folk music than Neither/Neither World’s, 'Invisible Angel' is the one to go with.

Guns N' Roses - Appetite for Destruction (1987)

Gosh, damn, if there was any album out there that truly changed my life then, Guns N' Roses massive debut, 'Appetite for Destruction' was the one one that did it. This was the one that got me on the right path. This is the one that got me into, 'my own music.' It was the one that allowed me to push away the music that my parents had raised me on (oldies and such) and to most importantly get me into good 'ol hard rock n' roll!

I can still vaguely remember how I acquired this album too. My parents had bought me a Beatles album (or best of, maybe) for Christmas in 1991, but wanting to break away from my parents musical influences (and to be rebellious, perhaps) I had asked them to exchange the cassette for this band named, Guns N' Roses. They probably didn't know what the fuck they'd just done, but this as I already said was the one that got me on the right path, the heavier path, which eventually lead to an interest in heavy metal just a few years down the road. I was about nine years old at the time.

There's so many memories in my mind and within my heart when I think about this album. I remember listening closely to the lyrics, and singing along with them, trying to make sense of it all, but often missing something due to my youthfulness. I remember thinking that Slash, Izzy, Steven, Duff and Axl were the coolest dudes in the world. I recall telling my mom around that time that I wanted to be Axl and it was a year or so later that I grew my hair out for the first time (though it didn't go so well since I have quite the curly hair in comparison to Axl's straight hairs).

Oh, and the guitar solos, fuck, man! I remember jumping on my bed playing air guitar to Slash’s solo in, ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine' (admit it, you did it too), and I played this album so much that I wore out the original tape and had to re-purchase it a few years later. And that strange artwork in the booklet, you know the original artwork of the robot rapist? Oh yes, I remember looking at that exposed boob of the ravaged girl laying against the fence and getting some funny feeling in my pants. I didn't know what the fuck that meant, but I knew I liked it (Hahah!). And those cuss words, naughty, and a bad influence on me for sure, but, ya know, "I see you standing there, You think you're so cool... Why don't you just, FUCK OFF!!"

'Appetite for Destruction' was all that and some more for a simple nine year old from, Wisconsin. And, ya know, its hard to believe its been over twenty years since I first heard it and its been almost twenty five years since its original release (July 21st!).

Easily the bands best, most pissed off and hard rockin' album, ‘Appetite for Destruction’ had songs about society and the Hollywood streets (Welcome to the Jungle), drugs & alcohol (Nightrain & Mr. Brownstone), girls/prostitutes (It’s so easy), youthful mischief (Out ta get me) and even a more sensitive side with songs like, ‘Think About you' & ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine.’ All of this was characterized by the colossal guitar riffs & solos of Slash and Izzy and the loud powerful vocal screechings of bad boy, Axl Rose. At a time when mainstream music had little to no feeling and really no messages what so ever Guns N’ Roses appeared and became the heroes for millions of young Americans. There really isn’t a bad moment on this entire album. Songs like ‘Welcome to the Jungle, ‘Paradise City,’ and ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ are classics that still kick my ass every time I hear them. Damn, and that acoustic guitar running through the chorus of, 'I Think about you' is just beautiful, what a powerful song, and who isn't touched, at least a little bit, by the tender sorrow in Axl's voice and the final lines of, 'Rocket Queen?' "Don't ever leave me, Say you'll always be there, All I ever wanted, Was for you to know that I care..."

A song like, 'My Michele' seemed odd to me when I was young, but that one has totally grown on me since and I nowadays appreciate the simplicity and understand the words of songs like, 'You're Crazy' or 'Anything Goes.' The other members contributions mustn't be overlooked either. Steven's drumming is nothing overly special, but its good solid hard rock drumming, but maybe the cowbell makes one too many appearances? Also you've gotta love Izzy's bass work, especially on, 'Mr. Brownstone,' freakin' groovy as hell, yaowza!

As many know, GnR had no less than five singles lifted from this record and within a short time they became the biggest band in the world. Unfortunately I'm not a huge fan of what they did after this. Don't get me wrong, I loved the Use your Illusions combo when I was a kid, but those albums just didn't age well. Still, some superb songs, but this early pure hard rockin' stuff will always be the best.

As I said earlier this album turns 25 in July of 2012, which is hard to believe, makes me feel old, but it just lets me know that I've been a rocker for a long fucking time. Personally its been a little over 20 years for this guy writing this, but I'm quite sure if I play my cards right I'll be listening for another 20 to come.

I don't know what else to say. Its one of my all-time favorite albums and its truly one I'll take to my grave. I could probably go on forever, I really could, man. You've no doubt heard it and maybe it means as much to you as it does to me. Or maybe it means nothing to you. Everyone is different, regardless I'll always love this record.

@%$^ You!

"There's just one thing, dude. Do you have to use so many cuss words?"

So, a few days ago a random person commented on a totally random review of mine. This anonymous person felt the need to point out that I swear to much in my reviews and in general on this blog. They went on to say that its not very professional, people wont take me serious and that I'm not a bad ass.

Okay. I had to think about this for a few days. First and for most you should understand that people have been swearing in front of me since I was a tiny child. My dad used to have insane arguments with my mom and my older brother and quite frequently naughty words/phrases like, 'Fuck' or 'Goddamn it' made an appearance. It was only natural that a small child like me would pick them up and make them regulars in their vocabulary. It didn't help any that I had a childhood friend whose vocab consisted mostly of, "Fuck," "Bitch," "Cunt," "Asshole" and so on. I remember it was quite a regular thing where I would swear in front of my parents, they'd get pissed and asked me where I learned such words. Well, it was you, dad.

Professional? I don't know if you noticed but there's nothing professional or technical about this blog. I mostly write reviews on albums that have been out for ages now if not decades sometimes and usually I tend to avoid newer stuff due to lack of interest in it. Along the way I've probably broke ever rule in review writing and even on those rare occasions when I get technical I feel odd, because its not like everyone knows what the fuck a tremolo riff is or what blasting is.

There's also alcohol reviews here and generally before I finish off a review I finish off a bottle, which may bring out the rowdier side in me, which may include cuss words. I don't swear to try to be a bad ass either. For example having me write something like, "...this goddamn album is fucking awesome!" is by no means an attempt to look cool or tough, in fact its done mostly for the potential humor. It's not necessarily meant to be taken entirely seriously. I may have long hair, a beard on my chin and bulky arms, but I'd never think of myself as some sort of bad ass. No.

This is just the way I am. I go on dates with pretty girls and I cuss, I swear in front of my co-workers, bosses, parents, brothers, friends, strangers, neighbors, cats, kids, etc. If you can't deal with that then go fuck yourself. My blog, my voice, my thoughts, my rules you goddamn, ass.

Furthermore maybe I need to put some sort of warning before entering this blog so those that are easily offended can get an early warning. In any case, Lunar Hypnosis continues onward as ever cuss words a plenty and if you don't like it then too damn bad, boy. Thank you and have a nice fucking evening! :D