"Spread your legs and scream, no this is not a dream!"My introduction to Piledriver came awkwardly through Marduk's, 'Glorification' EP years ago when the band performed a cover of the bands song, 'Sex with Satan.' That was well over a decade ago and seems like forever since I even heard that cover, but I kept Piledriver in mind just in case I came across one of their records. Quite recently I sold some useless promo CDs for store credit and happened to come across this LP for a mere $6, which is just great, especially since it was in near mint condition too.
Piledriver played thrashy classic metal with lyrics centered around being a metalhead, Satan, necrophilia, hunting witches, death and aliens, all with a decent amount of humor thrown in too. The cover is enough to know you've got something special in your hands. I mean, come on, just look at vocalist Piledriver there - Decked out in studs, leather, spikes, bondage gear and with a big smile on his face while clamping and apparently electrocuting the fella on the ground with a guitar. Nice! More than likely even back then people were rolling their eyes and laughing when they came across it at stores, but as it turns out I've got quite a thing for cheesy metal stuff. Mr. Driver's vocals are something to behold too as they are harsh and aggressive in tone, more so than during the actual delivery, but its an evilly peaceful approach to singing that seems really original for the time.
'Metal Inquisition' is the albums opening song and an anthem of sorts as the lyrics talk about hunting down non-metal heads and basically beating the crap out of them while reciting the chorus line, "And if you're not a metal head you might as well be dead, We're the metal inquisition... We sentence you to death... by guillotine," which is just priceless awesomeness! 'Sex with Satan' is essentially about the dark prince visiting a gal and having his twisted sexual desires with her, while, 'Sodomize the Dead' is just a romping two minute blast with a repetitive chorus and, 'Witch Hunt' is a slow drawn out but catchy one that ends side one of the LP. 'Pile Driver' is a fast speed metal-ish cut, which barely changes during its duration (except for a quick solo near the end) and is essentially and ode to himself, while, 'Human Sacrifice' has a fun and repetitive vibe to it and with lyrics like this, "I smell like a dead animal's rotten guts, Think that I've been to hell and back, kicked in the nuts, I'm always very angry, always tense my breath smells like rancid excrement," you know you'll have a smile on your face before the song passes. 'Alien Rape' is the albums last song and at over eight minutes its ridiculously drawn out, but the spoken passage about the invasion at least makes it different from Witch Hunt.
Interestingly the back cover of the LP lists a full five man line-up, although only two people participated, namely, Gord "Piledriver" Kirchin with the vocals and Leslie Howe, whom is likely to be the the guy getting electrocuted handles the bass, guitar and drum programming. Apparently even someone named Louise Reny was responsible for the lyrics.
Piledriver would go on to release one more album in '86 titled, 'Stay Ugly,' which was written by David DeFeis and Ed Pursino from Virgin Steele. Nearly twenty years later the band would reform as The Exalted Piledriver with an entirely new line-up alongside Gord and in '08 they even released a new album titled, 'Metal Manifesto.'
In the end, 'Metal Inquisition' is absolutely just a fun album to listen to. You're not going to hear any amazing riffs or breath taking solos, but Piledriver's vocals and the lyrics make for a good time, but I'm sure both LPs and even the CD reissue (limited to 1000 copies) are really hard to come by these days. So, I consider myself pretty damn lucky to have found this LP and for so cheap too.
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