Movie Review: The Ghost Galleon (1974)

[This is my first film review in five years, so pardon me if happens to suck.]

The Ghost Galleon, directed and wrote by Spaniard, Amando de Ossorio, is the third part of his, 'The Blind Dead' collection of movies, which has four films in total. This being the third part, it continues the general theme of the Knights Templar (a real-life order that was eventually obliterated after charges of witchcraft) come back from the dead as zombie-ish skeletal creatures. Their blindness is explained as the result of their eyes having been pecked out by birds after their hanged bodies were left on the gallows. Ouch!

During the previous two films the Templar's brandished swords, rode horses and sometimes even bit their victims in a typical zombie fashion, but on this film they're entombed on a ghostly pirate-ish ship and awake every night to feast on the blood of any poor soul that mistakenly steps into their outer dimension and finds themselves on this ship.

I can admit to the fact that my original interest in these films was because of the Cathedral song, 'Night of the Seagulls,' which is also the title of the fourth film, while on the bands latest album, 'The Guessing Game' a song by the name of, 'La Noche del Buque Maldito' is featured, which happens to be the Spanish title of this film. My love for Cathedral and these particular songs eventually led me to get my hands on these flicks and little did I know it at the time, but these are superb examples of trashy early 70's horror.

After some initial and slightly sleep inducing sluggishness, the story eventually moves onwards to two swimsuit models who as a publicity stunt are stranded on a boat in the middle of fucking nowhere (no, it doesn't make sense, but I guess you just have to accept the puzzling plot from the get go). I should probably point out at this point that all of the gals are scantly clad and goddamn beautiful to boot, although no titties pop out its still a pretty good time. Soon there after the gals lose contact with the shotty businessman that sent them out there in the first place and he and a few others decide to mount a rescue team.

Sacrifice, sacrifice, you say you want a sacrifice!

Before even arriving the two models are as good as dead, captured by the blind dead who awake from their cryptic slumber and carry the girls off and devour them. The acting is pretty ridiculous and generally bad as far as the girls reaction to these ghouls goes, but it also adds a bit of humor to the whole thing as well. Basically its so bad, that its good. It becomes obvious right away that this is one of those films to watch with your buddies and a few 12-packs. On the other hand, I personally think the Templar's look vastly improved visually in this third film, despite their slow movements, lack of swords and horses to ride on and their apparent distaste to crucifix's. Most the film of course takes place on the ship, which is constantly cloaked in fog, creaking with noises and when the Templar's emerge this eerie ritualistic ambient tune plays that is absolutely incredible sounding.

We are the blind dead, No eyes inside our head...

Anyway, eventually the courageous rescue team makes it onto the ship to find that something is definitely amiss. The models are nowhere to be found, but this also leads way to a flashback where one of the rescuers, a model as well, recalling good times with her missing friend, brushing each others hair while clad in nothing more than their undies. Do chicks really do this? Well, eventually said rescuer meets her untimely end in a similarly, dead sexy and hilarious manner and we even get to see the Templar's hack her head and arms off and soon munch her limbs down. Burp! Apparently her comrades don't give a fuck, because she's simply never mentioned again, but then they, the business dude, his secretary, some greedy asshole and a professor all meet the Blind Dead.

In foggy, murky waters, no one hears your screams

Oh Shit! They worship the Devil, right? Yeah, make a flaming crucifix and they'll be scared, right? Right! Wait, whoa, that actually worked? Umm... Yes... After barely escaping their first Blind Dead attack they simply realize that they are sleeping within the coffins and what do dead Templar's hate the most? Yes, water, goddamn it! So, our heroes toss the coffins overboard thinking they've conquered them and saved the day. They say, fuck this place and jump overboard, except the professor who is retarded and can't swim. With nothing more than a plank of wood to keep the three of them afloat, the greedy asshole nearly drowns them all, but the secretary takes notice of a knife in his pocket and plunges it into his back, and thus keeping their life preserver steady and above water. Satan is rightly pissed about this and decides to torch the whole damn place, the poor professor suffocates and burns in hell with the whole lot of them.

No one gets out alive!

The business dude and the secretary paddle their way to shore where they, ummm, fall asleep on the beach. While snoozing, the Templar's rise from the water, which is honestly one of the coolest moments in the movie and it looks ridiculously awesome when the water is pouring out of their hollow eye holes. As the movie comes to its close, they wake up to find the Templar's huddled above them and they go in for one final kill as the end credits then hit.

'The Ghost Galleon,' as already mentioned, is pretty cheesy, but a lot of fun in that early 70's campy manner. It seems to be the most hated out of the four films, but I like it for its atmospherics, the hotties, and the unintended laughs. Perhaps a bigger budget, an actual script and some good actors could have resulted in a classic horror flick, but it is what it is. If you're a fan of vintage horror with zombie-ish and Satanic undertones or fancy the already mentioned Cathedral songs you'd do well to give it a chance.